I'm tired of my hubby and have developed feelings for my friend's boyfriend.

Dear Coleen

I'm a 30-year-old married woman with one child. My husband takes me for granted, and I no longer admire him.

We haven't had sex in approximately 18 months, and I'm not bothered. I've been unhappy with him for a long time and have now fallen in love with the husband of one of my friends.

I've never expressed my feelings to him, but there is chemistry between us. He flirts with me a little, but it's not overt, and I doubt anyone else notices.

I was to a school concert the other night and he sat in front of me, and just glancing at the back of his neck made me feel turned on!

The trouble is, I know his wife has been having affairs with other men — in fact, a lot of people do – but he doesn't. I believe he is entitled to know what is going on, but I am concerned that it will backfire on me.

I don't want to be the messenger that gets shot because I'm hoping we'll be able to work something out.

In this case, what would you do? I like this person, but I understand that things are tricky. Please assist.

Coleen explains

Before intervening in anyone else's marriage, I believe you should mind your own business and work out your own.

You claim that your friend's husband is flirting with you, albeit subtly, but you may be seeing what you want to see.

The truth is, the only reason you'd tell him is in the hopes that he'd dump his wife and run into your arms, which is unlikely.

If you spill the beans, he won't be grateful; he'll be heartbroken and forced to focus on figuring out his life. He's not likely to start something with you because you're married and have a child.

I think you're living in a fantasy world — you even seem ecstatic that his wife is having an affair, yet this might be devastating for her husband.

My suggestion is to avoid complicating your life with others and causing confusion since you could lose everything.

If you were a decent friend, you'd notify her that rumors about her having an affair were spreading and allow her to clear things up.