Helping Your Son Or Daughter Choose A Spouse.

The duration of a relationship depends on the one walking in. if he or she does not fit, the door is always there to walk out. In Christianity, since it is forbidden to walk out unless there is adultery, many are faced with brokenness, I mean weakness.

Their partners are not too pleasing to them; something which torments the soul gradually. It does not matter how responsible you are at home, right is right and wrong is wrong. If he is not right, it is difficult to make him right. Jesus can help the sustenance of the marriage but the problem boils to the point of how both partners are willing to be compatible with each other. This always starts from your mindset. You can be seen outside as effective but inside, you are a dead being held by Grace.

Since only you can determine the where’s, how’s and when’s of your beautiful life, the idea about who you want to go with remains in to be decided by only you. Parents can sometimes find suitable partners yet putting them into accurate use for your benefit is the issue. It always depends on the connection between your parents and yourself plus the mate they are fetching for you. If their choice is based on hear-say, then note that you are bound to fail.

If it indeed there is a real association between them and whom they want for you at your own witness, then better count it as a deal. You might not like their choice but sometimes as you give yourself sometime to tap in, your appeal will just warm in. The problem with parents’ state of selection is majorly related to knowing the parents of the other half therefore the two will try to make marriage happen. It normally comes under limited time for both to know each other.

This is because both families think their friendliness is an affection to the relationship of their children. No. attaching your interest to your son or daughter’s spouse selection is a complete denial of his or her happiness.

It is good to decide for your son or daughter to marry who you present. Yea, but give him or her the benefit of the doubt to have an option especially when your reasons are made known to them on why you are making such a decision. As a parent, you do not get to decide for all your children on whom to choose as a spouse. There are some that will benefit from your scheme whiles others will object it.  This is because their choice remains their sole choice except when who they want to engage to is a distraction to the family.

Every parent has a dream family he or she wish for their daughter or son. Some have certain characteristics they always pray their children bring home. Just don’t wait for the child to grow before you begin to give her your choice of a partner. It’s his or her partner not yours therefore your choice can ruin him or her for the rest of their life. Imagine your daughter or son not enjoying marriage, how will you feel?

To make your children adapt to who to marry and what family to connect, make sure your status as a parents meets the requirement of that family first. For instance, you cannot force your daughter to wait for a rich man’s son when your status as a parent is degrading; refusing to educate her to the standard of your choice. That is an error. If you want a wealthy man for your child, make sure you are wealthy. Delaying your son or daughter to meet your choice is catastrophic.

He or she will end up disappointing you with either pregnancy or living in exile. There is nothing wrong with finding a rich man for your daughter but it is more appropriate when you let your child decide.

Some parents defend themselves saying “my daughter is not matured to choose a spouse therefore I have to pick one for her.” Well if she is not aged enough to choose, then there is no reason to engage her in marriage. Remember, it’s her marriage and not yours. Making a choice deals with love and maturity whiles marriage is about maturity. When parents learn that the foundation of a solid marriage is about who is walking into the life of your son or daughter, they will know how to give their children the room to operate freely.

Certain parents have the intention that guys who must come to marry their degree-holding daughters are entitled to cover every cost they have incurred on her therefore based on the cost sustained, they must find a wealthy man by any means. Others expect their daughters to marry men they can benefit from. A section of parents also raises a certain standard of guys or ladies for their children to meet. All these are good but not beneficial. Parents do this purposely to keep them in the game. When a parent is expected to be in the game of his or her son or daughter’s marriage, expect the game to be in favor of them (parents).

When a marriage between a daughter and son always look for the attention of parents to come in before a problem is solved, know for sure that one day when the father or mother is no more, there will be failure. A parent in the game of her daughter or son’s marriage eventually causes it death. That is why there is a need to give them (children) the ultimate respect in what they chose. If their choice is wrong, it means you never gave them the right training as to choices earlier.

When you want the choice of your children to benefit your choice as a parent concerning their spouse selection, start by raising them with the choices of the family. How? Every family has the caliber of people they deal with. Friends, co-workers and even the parents’ marriage. Start educating them with your marriage, how you met their mother or father and what triggered you to marry him or her. The children learn from your choice as you illuminate them.

Guide them in their youthful stage on things that are good to them but not beneficial and give them room to decide on the meal to be prepared in the house. Sometimes their choice might be wrong as to what to wear but make sure to give them the reason why they should abide in yours. When it comes to tribal alterations, it is up to you the parent to instruct them on why you expect them to choose from a particular tribe. As you teach them to depend on your choices from their youth, they will always put you first when it comes to who should walk in their life and who not to. “Train the child the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it – Proverbs 22:6”. Be a role model to your children and not vice versa.

Make sure to respect their choices first before introducing yours. labelling their choice as useless easily crash them which makes them feel that there is no need to come to you for ideas. Your child’s choice matters a lot. It starts from their youth. Just don’t forget to make prayer your priority too.