How To Manage Difficult In-Laws - By Esther Ikusika

Marriage is not only the union of two people, but it is also the coming together of two families and guess what? In-laws are part of the equation, most especially in Africa.
 One cannot avoid in-laws but one can only look for ways to peacefully relate or probably live with them.
However, there are situations whereby the in-laws are difficult to even deal with. They make life unbearable for their in-laws
 In case of such, below are ways you handle this difficult situation.

Consider and understand their backgrounds
I earlier mentioned that marriage is the coming together of two parties who are from different family backgrounds.
As a result of this, our backgrounds have a way of influencing our belief and thought process.
Therefore, we cannot think in the same light and this can lead to misunderstanding and conflict.
Also, this situation can make you or your in-law look like a difficult person. Hence, it is important that you consider this factor when dealing with a difficult in-law.

Talk to your spouse about your concerns
Let your spouse know how the situation and how you feel. This is because your spouse is in the best position to handle this situation.
They can easily speak with their sister, brother or mother that may seem difficult to deal with.
However, ensure you avoid sentiments when communicating with your in-law and don’t use derogatory words to describe your in-laws. Instead, you should state your points objectively and explain the situation.

Don’t try to change them
Accept that there are things you cannot change concerning your in-laws. So, avoid controlling them. See them as your family and embrace them just the way they are.

Work as a team with your spouse
Even if your in-law’s behavior bothers you and your spouse, you should never let it affect your marriage.
You should both present a united front and not act against each other. Whenever there is an issue, you both should address the issue with a united voice.

Give them time
When dealing with difficult in-laws, patience is usually the key.
Give them time to understand you and also take out time to understand them.
Don’t rush into conclusion. People tend to change when they are showed love. 

In conclusion, try as much as possible to manage the situation, always show them love and be cordial with them.
We wish you all the best!

Photo credit: Marystella Machimbo